TWAP044: How To Improve Your Social Skills

An Interview with Daniel Wendler, Aspergian, founder of ImproveYourSocialSkills.Com

social skills training

100,000 Users Are Improving Their Social Skills

100,000!  That’s how many people are part of Daniel Wendler’s moderated social skills forum on Reddit.

Daniel Wendler discovered his Asperger diagnosis in high school.

Since then, he’s been on a quest consistently improve his social skills.

Now he’s in his third year of his clinical psychology doctoral program.

He’s given a Ted Talk about his life story, he’s written two books, and he founded the site,  He also coaches people on becoming better conversationalists.

How To Improve Your Social Skills

Listen to this episode to learn how to improve your social skills.

In this episode you’ll learn:

  • How Daniel became interested in social skills
  • The powerful positivity of an online community
  • When to stop  talking in a conversation
  • How to deal with conversation if you’re really not interested in what the other person is saying
  • The creaky door technique
  • Developing a growth mindset

Social Skills Q & A: From You, The Listeners!

Question 1: 

Conversation. Where do I stop? When have I said too much? I don’t do chit chat well. It’s hard to find others with the same interests as me and I’m not social enough to go out looking. Most people bore me and most don’t understand me. Now look, I’ve already said too much.

I don’t know if this is considered to be a social question or not?  But starting next week I am about to be around several people, and will most certainly need to do presentations to them at some point.  I am absolutely terrified of that.  (When I’m in front of a group, my heart pounds to the point I’m afraid I’ll have a heart attack, my voice quivers, my mind shuts down, I can’t think of the words to say, sometimes I say things that aren’t true and I have no idea why, …).

Question 2: 

What can a child with ” Aspergers” do to improve their social skills and have the ability to empathize?

Links and Resources:

Connect with Daniel Wendler


Improve Your Social Skills:

Find Daniel on  LinkedIn, Twitter or Google+.

Daniel Wendler’s Books

Improve Your Social Skills, Kindle Ebook, by Daniel Wendler (22 five start Amazon reviews and counting!).

Level Up Your Social Life

Here’s a great video about Growth Mindset from Dr. Carol Dweck (4 million views and counting!)

How To Improve Your Social Skills: Your Action Plan

1)  Go through the basic social skills guide to get you started.  Free!  Master it, and then move on to buying the book or joining the membership, then think about.

2)  Become a member at Improve Your Social Skills: The costs are very reasonable.    Choose from Basic, Ad Free, and Lifetime Memberships.  Covers topics of Group Conversation, Making Friends, Empathy, Dating, Meeting People

3) Once you’ve gone through all of the above material, practice conversation, either with family members or acquaintances.  If you’d like more direct feedback, Daniel has arranged a service called conversation partners.  These are two of his friends who will converse with you, and then give you feedback about how you’re coming across.

4) After all of those steps, you may want to consider personal coaching with Daniel.  It’s a bit more expensive because Dan has limited time while he works on his doctorate.

5) For additional support, head on over to the Reddit social skills forum, which Daniel helps moderate.

6) Finally, Daniel also recommended that you consider going to a professional counselor, especially if you’re also dealing with anxiety and/or depression.

Join the Conversation

What topics would you most like covered on the show?  Who would you like me to interview? Share you answer in the comments below or Ask me a question via my Contact Page.

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 I'm Steve Borgman.  I'm a licensed clinical professional counselor and blogger committed to bringing you hope, understanding, and solutions that you can apply to your life immediately.

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