How To Small Talk, Even When You Don’t Care

Small Talk Advice From Aspergian Writer, Michael

This is a guest post from Aspergian author Michael, from

small talk advice

Small Talk Advice

Small Talk

I think I can speak for most, if not all of us, when I say we hate it.

I mean, why would anyone talk about NOTHING, which is what small talk is…talk about nothing.
So superficial and a waste of time!!

Ok, I feel better now😥

But seriously, we ALL need to improve our ability to engage in small talk.


It’s how the rest of the world communicates. And, as I’ve said before in a previous post, we all need to adapt, if just a little.

And now for something completely different:

Do you know what’s happening this Sunday, February 5th?

The Super Bowl, by golly!

I know what you’re thinking:

“That’s great, Michael (sarcastically). Why do I care, and what does this have to do with small talk?”

It’s a great way to practice your small talk.

“Michael, I just said I don’t care about the Super Bowl. Besides, I don’t know a freakin’ thing about it. How am I going to talk about something I know nothing about?”

I’m glad you asked, because it’s easier than you think. And now you DO know something about it, that it’s being played on Sunday, February 5th.

For years, I’ve been engaging in small talk about things I know almost nothing about.

“Michael, that makes no sense.”

Just keep reading.

Let’s pretend I’m standing in the check out line at the supermarket and want to practice small talk with the man or woman behind me.

And let’s pretend I want to talk with this person about the Super Bowl, but all I know is that it’s being played on Sunday.

No problem

This is how I would do it…

Me: “So, are are you planning on watching the Super Bowl on Sunday?”

He or she: “I sure am.”

Me: “Who do you think will win?”

He or she: “The Patriots”

Me: “Why do you think the Patriots will win?”

He or she: “They’ve got a much better offense than the Falcons.”

Me: “How is their offense better than the Falcons’?”

He or she: “The Patriots have averaged 16 points a game.”

Me: “So, how many points do you think they will score in this game?”

He or she: “I think they’ll score 24 points.”

Me: “And what about the Falcons? How many points do you think they’ll score?”

He or she: “I predict they will score 10.”

Me: “Ok, so you think the final score will be 24 to 10.”

He or she: “Yes, I do.”

Me: “Well, it looks like I’m ready to check out. Enjoy the game.”

Did you read what I did?

I made small talk with a person I didn’t know about a topic I knew almost nothing about.

Was it magic?

No, not at all.

Look closely at the first thing I said.

I asked a question.

I simply asked if he or she was going to watch the Super Bowl.

And he or she gladly answered.

And the I asked another question, based on his or her answer.

In other words, I simply listened to what person said, took a couple of key words, and incorporated them into a question.

Question after question

Here’s the beauty of asking questions:

It takes the stress and effort out of manufacturing small talk.

You see, in my pretend conversation, I hardly did anything.

He or she did the hard work of maintaining the conversation.

I simply asked questions.

And, I didn’t even have to think of what to ask.

He or she provided the information I needed to ask my questions.

Does it get any easier than that?

Now, yes, this does take a little practice, but not much.

But I can’t think of a simpler way of engaging in small talk, even though we DESPISE it.

And who knows?

You just might learn something about the Super Bowl you didn’t know before.

By the way, the New England Patriots and Atlanta Falcons are playing in the 51st Super Bowl on Sunday.

How do I know this?

Take a guess.

Copyright: justinkendra / 123RF Stock Photo

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I'm Steve Borgman. I'm a licensed clinical professional counselor and blogger committed to bringing you hope, understanding, and solutions that you can apply to your life immediately.

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