“He wrapped himself in quotations- as a beggar would enfold himself in the purple of Emperors.” Rudyard Kipling
I’m not just talking about any old parenting quotes.
I’m talking about parenting quotes from parents who’ve been there. I’m talking about parenting quotes from ladies and gentleman who themselves have Aspergers or autism and have been in the parenting trenches.
Parenting quotes can help you predict the future because:
1. They’ve been there.
I combed the internet to find pertinent quotes from Aspergian/autistic parents who are raising or who have raised children.
They know what it’s like to struggle in this adventure, marathon, and sometimes battle of raising kids.
And they specifically understand how to do so effectively from a neurodiverse standpoint.
2. They’ve probably faced what you’ll face at some point in the future.
Parenting kids is unique to everyone’s situation, but there are some general patterns we can pick up.
And we can gather these parenting quotes like pearls of wisdom to examine when our particular parenting challenges come along.
Now that I’ve shared my reasons for my claim, it’s time to pass these parenting quotes along to you.
Cynthia Kim: An Autistic Parent’s Secret Weapon/s
Blog: Musings of an Aspie
Here’s the context and source for the quote:
Article: Autistic Motherhood: Honoring Our Personal Choices
As an autistic parent, we have a secret weapon–one that can make our autistic children’s lives less challenging than our own have been. Kim echoed the sentiments of many autistic moms, explaining how she and her autistic son have a special bond: “We love and accept each other enough to be ourselves. (italics mine). I am able to help him put words to things he doesn’t yet understand. I am able to help him figure out sensory issues that bother him and help him find solutions that work for him. I’m a problem solver and I work at something ’til all the kinks are worked out.”
David Finch: Learning Empathy
Before I quote David, let me say that I do believe Asperger/autism adults have great depths of feeling. The challenge is figuring out what the other person is really thinking and feeling. Each one of us, whether AS or not, needs to work on this, particularly in parenting.
David wrote about his personal growth journey into developing empathy with his wife, but the same applies to understanding our children.
Here’s the full quote from his New York Time article, Somewhere Inside, a Path to Empathy.
I’ve learned that people can develop empathy, even if by rote. With diligent practice, it can evolve from a contrived acknowledgment of other people’s feelings to the real thing.
To that end, I started asking Kristen (his wife) how her day was and then paying more attention to her body language than her words. (Occasionally I would have to ask if I was reading her correctly.) If I sensed she was tired, I would take the kids out so she could have quiet time. If she seemed really burned out, I would offer to give her a foot massage, or to just listen. Soon these started to feel like real rather than manufactured emotional responses.
Shawna, on the Importance of Rules, But With Logic
Blog: Thoughts of an Introverted Matriarch
Shawna’s so right. My son has taught me that he wants to know the logic behind my rules. I unfortunately interpreted his questions as belligerence or disrespect in the past, but thanks to Shawna and others, I’ve learned to honor him enough to explain the Why behind rules and requests.
Here’s Shawna’s full quote, from her post, #Parenting, Inner #Aspie Style:
In my house there are rules. Some would say a lot of rules, and expectations. My rules are clear, and spelled out. They are never about listening to me, because I am an authority figure. Never. I want my kids to be thinkers. I want them to question what they’re told, and use their own moral compass to determine their actions. I never want them to do as they are told blindly. I want them to know, and understand why they’re being told to do what they are, and the reasons behind it. I discuss that in part in this entry Disobedience or Ethical Noncomformist.
Brian R King, On Dealing with Our Kids’ Meltdowns and Frustration
Here’s the quote from his article, Frustration Can Be Lonely:
S.R. Salas, on What Age to Tell Our Children They Are Autistic?
She continues, in her article called, Eight…the Magic Number is Eight, to expand on this quote:
We want our children to know themselves, don’t we? And that’s not something that can start too soon. We begin teaching our children about themselves from the very beginning. We teach them about their bodies, we talk to them about eye and hair and skin color. We talk to them about family and friends, relationships, their feelings and emotions, so why not about their disabilities? They are a part of them.
John Elder Robison, on How to Speak to Our Aspergers/Autistic Children
I love these quotes, uttered by some great AS parents.
These quotes will help me create a better future for both my kids, since they help me better understand how to parent with love and acceptance, while giving my kids structure.
What do you like best about these parenting quotes?