“The best time to plant a tree is 10 years ago – the second best time is today."
Chinese proverb, as quoted by Daniel Wendler from ImproveYourSocialSkills.com
Daniel Wendler Talks About Social Skills Training
As an adult, have you ever felt that life has passed you by? Maybe you were diagnosed with Aspergers later in life and you’re trying to make sense of it all.
Or maybe you just think that you can’t learn certain skills, including social skills, because you’re autistic.
Aspergian Daniel Wendler is here to challenge you! Daniel moderates the Reddit social skills forum where over 100,000 people are developing their social skills!
In this interview, I continue to talk with Daniel Wendler about growth mindset about social skills training.
Every Aspergian and non-Aspergian can improve their quality of life by adopting a growth mindset. I’ve attached an in
Questions You Asked:
Question 1: I don’t know if this is considered to be a social question or not? But starting next week I am about to be around several people, and will most certainly need to do presentations to them at some point. I am absolutely terrified of that. (When I’m in front of a group, my heart pounds to the point I’m afraid I’ll have a heart attack, my voice quivers, my mind shuts down, I can’t think of the words to say, sometimes I say things that aren’t true and I have no idea why, …).
I am 41, and I have tried books, speaking classes (like Toastmasters). I literally think public speaking could physically kill me!
Question 2: I would like to know how someone who is diagnosed with Aspergers late in life (around 50) can escape underemployment.
In This Episode You’ll Learn:
- Easy ways to think about growth mindset for learning new skills
- How a growth mindset differs from a fixed growth mindset
- Daniel’s example from life of how he changed from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset in learning to cook
- Common fixed growth mindset thoughts about social skills: “I’m on the spectrum, if you want me to socialize, I’m going home to be alone. “I’ll try this one socializing event, but if it doesn’t work, I’m giving up forever, because I’m no good at this"
- Growth mindset – How to counteract some of the fixed mindset thoughts
- How to celebrate small and frequent successes during the process of learning new skills or working on a new goal
- The importance of a safe community, mentors, and coaches
- It’s never too late to learn and grow
Links and Resources:
Connect with Daniel Wendler
Dan’s Website: http://www.danielwendler.com/
Daniel Wendler’s Books
Improve Your Social Skills, Kindle Ebook, by Daniel Wendler (22 five start Amazon reviews and counting!).
Here’s a great video about Growth Mindset from Dr. Carol Dweck (4 million views and counting!)
How To Improve Your Social Skills: Your Action Plan
1) Go through the basic social skills guide to get you started. Free! Master it, and then move on to buying the book or joining the membership, then think about.
2) Become a member at Improve Your Social Skills: The costs are very reasonable. Choose from Basic, Ad Free, and Lifetime Memberships. Covers topics of Group Conversation, Making Friends, Empathy, Dating, Meeting People
3) Once you’ve gone through all of the above material, practice conversation, either with family members or acquaintances. If you’d like more direct feedback, Daniel has arranged a service called conversation partners. These are two of his friends who will converse with you, and then give you feedback about how you’re coming across.
4) After all of those steps, you may want to consider personal coaching with Daniel. It’s a bit more expensive because Dan has limited time while he works on his doctorate.
6) Finally, Daniel also recommended that you consider going to a professional counselor, especially if you’re also dealing with anxiety and/or depression.
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