Thank You

Steve BorgmanThanks for joining the Thrive with Aspergers community!

I thought you’d want to know my mission and value proposition –

I provide high functioning autism help. I am a parent of a son with high functioning autism, a therapist specializing in helping children and adults with high functioning autism, and a blogger blogging about Aspergers and high functioning autism. I help parents, partners and educators better understand autism through my writing. I help adults with high functioning autism take their relationship and career skills to the next level, so that they are more connected and fulfilled.

I’m by no means an expert. I’ve been down the road a few years as a parent and a therapist, and a friend. I don’t have all the answers, but I’m constantly reading and sharing what I find.

I’d love to hear from you.

Why are you interested in this blog? What is one thing you’re struggling with right now?

What are some hopes and dreams you have for yourself or your child?

I’d love to hear from you! Just email me at


AS & Noise Sensitivity

Rsz autism and noise sensitivity

Learn about autism and noise sensitivity, along with 1000+ Thrive with Aspergers/Autism readers.

We won't send you spam. Unsubscribe at any time. Powered by ConvertKit

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • Heather Lewis

    Thinking maybe I’m an Aspie. Just don’t know how to go about getting a diagnosis. I’m 41, female, unemployed, and I live with my parents. Even sending this in makes me incredibly anxious. I’m not sure I’m even doing this right. Or if anyone will actually see this…and most importantly, I don’t really know how to end this. Or it seems send this…

  • Hi, Heather. Thanks for taking the time to think about this and having the courage to hit “send”. Here’s an article for you to read, ( and then if you have more questions, you can email me @

  • Mary Avans

    My son is on the spectrum. He is 7, was diagnosed at 4. He is extremely bright but has behavior problems and very hyperactive. He has recieved speech, ot and behavior therapies. With his Dr’s guidance we have been experimenting (for 2 years) with different medicines, dosages and times of dosages. So far we have not found a magic combination that calms him without making him go to sleep.
    He has been kicked out of summer camps, day cares, lost sitters and threatened with expulsion from school. I have no family or support group to help me. I am concerned i will loose my job and have to stay home to care for him but i have no other income to live on so i dont know how we would survive.
    He is currently taking melatonin every night to help with sleep problems, zoloft to help with his anxiety and ocd behaviors and clonodine that is supposed to be for the adhd but i really dont see a benefit. It makes him sleepy but when awake he still has the same behavior problems.
    I was hoping to get suggestions on medications, herbs, therapies anything that might help. The medicines we have already tried without success as of today is ritalin, tenex, intuive and clonodine.
    On a side note he has tremors (always has) in his hands. he was full term at birth but only weighed 4lbs 9oz. He has never caught up on height or weight. At times when i am holding him to try and calm him it feels like his arms and legs are moving involuntarily (like when you are falling asleep and your muscles twitch). On his worst days it is as though he physically cannot be still, he is constantly jumping and flipping over furniture. During these times i have noticed his eyes are dialated.
    Thanks for any advice or suggestions you can give me.

  • Trevor

    I married into a family amny years ago in which the mother and grandmother had some very unusual traits and it caused problems for us for many years. Anger was a big part of their everyday talking to each other and it made no sense to me, so In hopes of making some sense to the chaos we lived with I set out to take psychology classes in hopes of getting some understanding to help us. She is now 97 yrs old and still displays almost every single Asperger trait perfectly and has for her entire life but now is mixing with dementia. They talk in the trait listings that 60% or so is confirmation of aspbergers but she has always displayed near 99% which has given us a sense of compassion for her rather then anger due to lack of understanding. Every bit of understanding gives us more help for us to deal with her now that she is in a nursing home and is in her final years. thank you for your work.

  • Martine Minnema

    Hi am Martine Minnema from Eindhoven the Netherlands. I was diagnosed in 2010 with Asperger. My main struggle at the moment is the social interaction between people and the communication with my family. I am interested in this blog because I would like to search for information and to find out how other fellowaspies are coping with everyday life. My hope is to live in a world where people with Autism are not mistreated and accepted fully.

  • Martine, thank you for your comment. I’m sorry about the difficulties with communication in your family. Is your family open to learning about Aspergers? If so, I would ask them to read this blog and other blogs, especially those written by people with Aspergers. If you haven’t already found this blog, is a great one!

  • Marianne Himsley

    Hello, thinking maybe I’m an Aspie too. I’m 57, female, not working at the moment, I live with my husband (and my 92 year old mum recently now lives with us.) Unsure how to diagnose, and came across your page. Lifelong social awkwardness, seeing things differently to other people (actually from Planet ? 🙂 synesthesic, OCD about most things. Crave friendships, yet dont know how to handle or accept them. Find it hard to believe friendships; believe I’m the odd one out. Generally wont do anything that involves people unless asked. Or if I am wanted to help or do physical tasks. Hard to accept people liking me, even my family. I question everything. I am very lonely as I live more in my mind. I live from outside triggers more than inside through lack of belief in myself – unless I forget myself! Usually do most anything once. I am unrealistic, store up rejection and awkwardness and ususally take it out on those I love or telephone call centres :D. I have wells of emotion behind my belief that I have always made wrong decisions and have affected my family and others. I Speak and write myself confused. 🙂
    Bit of a mish mash but you get the idea. Interested in absolutely everything and would love to do everything. Uni 3 times shortlived – fear of failure. Love how people and nature are creative. I love how people speak and their accents, languages. Understand people speaking about science; or design; or any interesting, thinking media. Thank you for your webpage. BTW would like to access the link you sent Heather re diagnosis, but did not link to active page. Thank you for your time.

  • Marianne! Thanks so much for your feedback. I love your outlook on life, and I’m sorry for the loneliness you’ve had to suffer. Have you considered joining our Thrivers community to have fellowship with others on the spectrum?

  • Ronald S

    I was formally diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome (ASD) in January 2015, at 44 years of age. Prior to this, my mother and sister (both with Masters degrees in psychology) asked me to take Simon Baron Cohen’s Asperger Syndrome inventory. After answering all 50 questions, I came to a score of 47 out of 50 (32 the minimum to be considered for a possible Asperger Syndrome diagnosis). After showing this to my psychiatrist (whom I had been seeing for treatment for anxiety, depression, and obsessive-compulsive disorder), he immediately wrote a referral for a psychotherapist (specializing in Asperger Syndrome) in the area. I have been attending sessions with the therapist on a weekly basis. I have also been attending group meetings with organizations that discuss Asperger Syndrome. This has allowed me to learn about the ups and downs of the condition, along with how to communicate more effectively.

  • Hi, Ronald – I apologize for the late response. I’m glad that you’re discovering more about yourself and getting the support you need! Congratulations!

  • Clark Lowry

    I am a 71-year-old that has spent time these past few years reviewing my life’s events and experiences in an effort to understand what happened and why. By now I should have accumulated the wisdom that explains the ups-and-downs of my experiences, but I have only found more confusion.

    Recently I have discovered the online articles on Asbergers. I have found that they go a long way in explaining many things.

  • Sue Thorp

    My son has High Functioning Autism (was diagnosis that orginially due to he did not speak until after he was two). He is now 18 and heading to college next Fall. He has been accepted to two colleges and has picked out one that he plans on going to in the fall. He is now reverting back to some of his triggers. He has been doing well before his this time and now he doesn’t have all of the services at school like he did before. Just need to help him cope with what is going on and any information would help us get him through this. Also let him know what he has is OK! Thank you!!

  • Hi, Sue! It sounds like you and your son have worked hard to get to this point. I’m sure you’ve already been in touch with the future college’s disability department? Also, it may be helpful for him to be connected to a therapist in that area, so that he can receive support as needed?

  • Clark, it’s great to hear that you’ve been learning more about Aspergers. Have you considered seeking out a diagnosis?

  • Clark Lowry

    A psychologist at the VA entered a diagnosis of Asbergers into my medical records in spite of the fact that the VA does not officially recognize or offer treatment specific to Asbergers. Thinking that having this included in my record might encourage health providers to be specific about what is happening and not expecting me to understand inferences in my healthcare I agreed to this inclusion. If only doctors would actually read the file this might work. Unforunatly, they don’t.

  • Stu Mountjoy

    I have been diagnosed with Asperger’s, while in therapy for gambling addiction (poker machines), made the mistake of falling for someone who later abused me (while married to them) for 5 years. Finding it difficult to find work, because it is easy for ME to get distracted.

  • Hi, Stu – I hear you about getting distracted. I wonder: were you ever diagnosed with ADD or ADHD (attention deficit disorder)? Also, conditions like depression, anxiety, or post-traumatic stress can cause distraction. If any of those conditions are untreated, it may be difficult to find your focus again.

  • Dominic Gauden

    Hi I am 49 & have only just suspicions on Aspergers but next week a final analysis for ADHD. The effects of these spectrums are similar. I read a book You Mean Im Not Lazy Stupid or Crazy by two American women that have ADHD. Awesome book, I am going to order it again. The affects on concentration, self esteem etc etc

  • Hi, Dominic! I’ve heard of that book, and it sounds like a great one! It’s interesting – in the past, aspects of Aspergers and ADD overlapped so much, that a clinician could not diagnose ADD if the person already was diagnosed with Aspergers. In the most recent version of DSM-V (, clincians can diagnose the two conditions concurrently.

  • LordRobMouth

    I’ve read a few articles on the internet and watched a few videos on You Tube concerning Asperger’s syndrome. There was a video on You Tube about the 22 symptoms of Asperger’s Syndrome and I have all 22 of them. 1000 average! I haven’t been official diagnosed with it by any mental health professional but I’m positive that I have Asperger’s Syndrome. I’m 53 years old and live in Niantic, Connecticut. I’m looking for a support group of people in my area who have Asperger’s syndrome. I’d just like to make friends with people who have this condition. My personal life is lonely and empty.

  • Dominic Gauden

    Someone recently said there was no official diagnosis of ADHD-just a collection of symptoms. That’s reassuring-Not! Just gotto live with the symptoms or affects of & try & concentrate on getting creative which is n asset in itself as they say..

  • Rita.B.R.

    Hi Steve, could you please send a link once again that you shared with Heather. Currently this link does not work. Highly appreciate!

  • Angel

    Just started in my journey of getting an official Asperger’s diagnosis… BAD appointment today with my GP. I realize a medical doc is going to lean towards medical reasons… but when psych appts even with my insurance is a $1000+ yearly deductible plus $500 each visit copay… I can’t afford to keep my mind healthy… just my body. 🙁

  • Angel, I’m sorry you had a bad experience with your GP. I’m glad that I can continue to support your via the blog to the best of my ability.

  • Rachel Lauer

    Thinking that I have Asberger’s too as it presents differently in females than in males. What do I do to get diagnosed?

  • Jessie Dixon

    Hi Im 34 and my therapist think that i may have Aspergers. I do have a job where i am responsible for products being recieved into the warehouse and its helping me develop organizational skills. I’m still suffering a bit in my personal life with it, but i am going to get tested for it once my medical insurance.

  • Hi, Rachel – thank you for reaching out. Here’s a podcast episode with Dr. Rachel Loftin which will answer your questions –

  • Thank you, Jessie. You might want to consider contacting your State Department of Vocational Rehabilitation Services to see if they can help you cover the cost of getting tested.

privacy policy