loving-someone-with-aspergers-syndrome

Loving Someone with Asperger Syndrome (Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications, 2012)


Dr. Ariel has worked with Asperger-neurotypical couples for years.

Whether you or your partner has Asperger syndrome, this book will help you better understand Aspergers.  Dr. Ariel stands apart from many marriage therapists in that she understands many Asperger characteristics and helps both spouses better understand each other.

She includes loads of practical problem solving exercises that would help any marriage, not just an Aspergers-NT marriage.

Read my article, Keep Your Marriage Strong with These Organization Tips, as an example of one of her helpful exercises.

Best Ways To Understand What Conversation Is

Ideal conversation must be an exchange of thought, and not, as many of those who worry most about their shortcomings believe, an eloquent exhibition of wit or oratory.   Emily Post My Attempt at Brazilian Conversation I grew up in Brazil, South America. I attended a Brazilian, Portuguese speaking school, from kindergarten through fourth grade. […]

what-is-conversation

Aspergers Myths

This video exposes Caucasian stereotypes about Asian Americans.

It got me thinking, “What kinds of stereotypes do neurotypical people have about Aspergians and autistics?”

And that’s where my latest Psychology Today blog article, Get Rid of These 3 Asperger Myths Once and For All, was born.

If you’re a neurotypical (non-Aspergian, non-autistic) reading this, ask yourself what “myths” you may have about Aspergians in your life.

If you’re an Aspergian or autistic, please be patient with neurotypicals, but point them to articles like this to educate them.

What Aspergers myths have you encountered?  Please share them in the comments below to educate the neurotypicals who read this blog.

Famous People with Autism: Tim Burton

There are a number of famous people with autism: Clay Marzo, Darryl Hannah, Temple Grandin are just a few.  Each one of them has different strengths and weaknesses.  So do you. Every person, whether famous or not, has gifts, talents, and purpose.  And every person who perseveres despite flaws and adversity makes a difference in the […]

famous people with autism tim burton

Self-Disclosure and Dating


Theo Pauline Nestor, author of How to Sleep Alone in a King-Size Bed, offered dating advice about self-disclosure and dating in a Wrong Planet article.

Generally, when we are getting to know someone as a friend, we naturally keep pace with the rate our new friend is disclosing about himself and he or she keeps pace with us. If I tell you about my love of cats, you might tell me about your interest in web design. If after we’ve known each other for a while, I tell you about how my parents’ divorce affected me, you would likely share something personal about yourself. Even if you had not gone through the same experience as me, you would likely share an event of a similar caliber that impacted you emotionally. And this is generally, how friendships are built—slowly over time, brick by brick.

So how might you apply this on a first or second date:

1. Before the date, think of topics that are of a low level of disclosure that would be good to talk about—college majors, where you grew up, a passion of yours. If you have a tendency to open up too soon, remind yourself to slow down.
2. Listen for the other person’s rate of disclosure. Are they telling you about their trip to Jamaica or about something more personal? If they are opening up to you, consider what you might share with them that is personal without being TOO personal. But only take this step if you genuinely like the person because when you open up to people you are signaling your interest in them and starting to develop a bond.
3. If the other person is disclosing too much for your comfort level, try changing the topic to something lighter.
4. If you’re past the first date and you know you like this person, strive to match their rate of disclosure. And, most important, demonstrate empathy and interest in the other person’s story when they do open up by establishing eye contact and asking follow-up questions.

You can read the full article here.