Self-Disclosure and Dating
Theo Pauline Nestor, author of How to Sleep Alone in a King-Size Bed, offered dating advice about self-disclosure and dating in a Wrong Planet article.
Generally, when we are getting to know someone as a friend, we naturally keep pace with the rate our new friend is disclosing about himself and he or she keeps pace with us. If I tell you about my love of cats, you might tell me about your interest in web design. If after we’ve known each other for a while, I tell you about how my parents’ divorce affected me, you would likely share something personal about yourself. Even if you had not gone through the same experience as me, you would likely share an event of a similar caliber that impacted you emotionally. And this is generally, how friendships are built—slowly over time, brick by brick.
So how might you apply this on a first or second date:
1. Before the date, think of topics that are of a low level of disclosure that would be good to talk about—college majors, where you grew up, a passion of yours. If you have a tendency to open up too soon, remind yourself to slow down.
2. Listen for the other person’s rate of disclosure. Are they telling you about their trip to Jamaica or about something more personal? If they are opening up to you, consider what you might share with them that is personal without being TOO personal. But only take this step if you genuinely like the person because when you open up to people you are signaling your interest in them and starting to develop a bond.
3. If the other person is disclosing too much for your comfort level, try changing the topic to something lighter.
4. If you’re past the first date and you know you like this person, strive to match their rate of disclosure. And, most important, demonstrate empathy and interest in the other person’s story when they do open up by establishing eye contact and asking follow-up questions.
You can read the full article here.
I grew up in Brazil, South America, between two worlds, that of the United States (where my parents were from, and whose culture I shared), and that of the Brazilians (I attended Brazilian-only school from first through fourth grades). As a Brazilian (I have dual citizenship), I observed two types of Americans as a boy. […]
Body Language Communication Examples
Here’s a tip: Use these Body Communication Examples (The Power Pose) to Increase Your Confidence.
Dr. Carol Ginsey Goman, author of The Nonverbal Advantage: Secrets and Science of Body Language at Work, shares the power pose tip. We can actually act our way into feeling more powerful and confident! Try this today and see what difference it makes in your own confidence level.
Try sitting back in your chair and actually putting your hands behind your head and your feet on the desk. Sit that way for up to a couple of minutes. Or stand in the “Wonder Woman” position, with your hands on your hips, looking confidently ahead.
Business Insider’s article called, This Simple ‘Power Pose’ Can Change Your Life and Career, illustrates the power pose in-depth, even showing examples from the animal world to show how innate the power pose is.
How are you going to practice this body language tip today?
Good Help Is Hard To Find – My Blogging Story I’ve been blogging almost seven years. Last year I wanted someone to help me take my blogging to the next skill level. Through the years, I signed up for different learning opportunities based on promises the course teacher provider. Unfortunately, I didn’t always pay too […]